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Memories of Bunch - A tribute to Alex Humffray

10 January, 2004

And so a year passes.

Life went on and the world did not end although it seemed to try.

So many significant events marked this particular period of time. The Iraq war, another shuttle disaster. We watched the launch lamenting how you would miss it. You followed them all so closely and with such passion, collecting for your archives.
(...NASA pr0n...)
(...Hold my hand Lucy...)
It seemed such a fitting tribute but then it too went so horribly wrong.
The race between Europe and the US to put another probe on Mars, which was also the closest to Earth its ever been. Pauline Hanson's incarceration, which alone would have kept you entertained for quite some time. Your beloved Apple finally released the G5 and Panther. There's a 20" iMac now and most recently the mini iPod. Things you would have enthused over in your own irrepressible way. I missed the inevitable nagging I would have received to try Panther.
(...Lucy you must try it...)

Seems everyday there's something new, each with its own reminder of you. The knee jerk reaction is to feel sad because you aren't there to share but if one looks past that initial reflex the realisation comes that you haven't really left. You embedded yourself too deeply in our lives to ever truly be without you. No goodbyes needed, just a "till next time".

Its too easy to feel the negative. All the feelings of guilt, anger, betrayal, grief, pain and loss. They are less acute now but they still stalk from the shadows like a malignant ghost, their presence felt but never really acknowledged.
(...I felt your presence...)
That wasn't your life though. Those feelings weren't what you gave us then. They should not be how we remember you now.

Your life is now a completed book, too painfully short on pages but too rich in content to be placed on a shelf to gather dust. Your death was the final page. That was not your life, only the conclusion. We know how your story ends, we need to read the book backwards now and recapture your life and remember the things that made you who you were to us.

It's easy to do. The reminders are everywhere.